Thank you and goodbye for now

It is that time of year when I have to pay to keep my website. Unfortunately I cannot afford to pay the fee at this time and so I may lose my blog. I am hoping that in time I will have the money and be able to get it back, but it all depends on my domain name still being available.

So this may be my last post.

Just remember your mental health matters and the most important thing to do is talk to the people around you. Your friends and family will want to support you!

Thank you for reading my blogs and for all of your support.

Fingers crossed I will be back soon.


depression, Uncategorized

The exhausted smile

There are so many different smiles, and even in depression there can still be many smiles. There is the fake one that shows people you are okay when your not – this is the one that exhausts you. There is the genuine smile when your children do something amazing for you. There is a half smile when your trying to be ok but just not there.

As much as we say we need to try and be there for someone who is anxious or depressed, we also need to know when to give them space. As always having to put a smile on your face and act normal (whatever normal is), just exhausts you. There needs to be a balance, knowing when someone needs a bit of space and alone time and then also not letting them be on their own all the time and letting them know you are there for them.


Depression is a minefield, I have no idea why I am feeling like this, trying to understand it, exhausts me and trying to put on a smile, exhausts me.




I apologise for my lack of blogging recently. I have been snowed under with my top up degree, my two jobs (yes iv taken on a second job), being a mum, a wife and keeping a house. My house has taken a back seat and is a bit of a mess.

Drowning – is the only way I can describe how my life has been. I feel like I’m drowning in my life.


Hopefully I will get chance to blog again soon.

Thank you for reading my blogs, remember you can look at back at my old blogs if you haven’t already read them, I would like to share my life with anxiety with as many people as possible to help other people who suffer.




Anxious mum30

In 2008/2009 I was trying for my second baby (my first born was 15 months) after a few months of trying I fell pregnant. We were so happy, we rang our parents to tell them and a few weeks later we travelled up north to tell the rest of the family and my close friends. I was only 9 weeks but i’v never been good at keeping things to myself and I wanted to share my good news. Everyone was happy for us, probably abit shocked that I was only 21 and pregnant with my second child but it’s what I’d always wanted to be a young mum.
We went back home a few days later and after having sex I bled. I didn’t think much of it but spoke to my mum who said maybe I should phone the midwife. My friend came round for a play with her…

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