ANXIETY

Ups, downs and dreaming of travelling

Recently I have been very up and down. One day I am full of life and thinking about not wasting a moment of life, the next I cant be bothered doing anything and the next I want to uproot my family and go travelling.

I have never wanted to go travelling before, my sister has travelled the world for 8 years and still hasn’t seen everywhere, and I was never interested before. But over the last few months the urge has suddenly come over me. I am wondering whether this is because my anxiety is under control with my sertraline and I can imagine actually being able to enjoy travelling. I have read other peoples blogs about travelling and taking a family travelling. It looks ace. I think another reason that is making me want to go, is the monotony of everyday life:

work

cleaning

tidying

its so boring. I want to show my children the world, I want to experience different places and how people live and let my children see that too. As I work in education I think I could give my children a travelling education but I think the experiences of seeing the world would benefit them more than anything else.

But this is all a dream as there is no way we could afford it, and I think I am struggling to get my head around that.

But we are going on a travelling sort of holiday in the summer. It is my husbands cousins wedding in Byron Bay in August and to afford to go we are having long layovers. One layover in New York for 18 hours, one in Houston for 12 hours and then we fly to Sydney. We are then going to hire a car and drive up the coast to the Gold Coast. We are all very excited as it is a dream holiday. I have donated my eggs again to help pay the costs and also we are working hard and had some inheritance.

Anyway enough of that, I started with how iv been feeling. I don’t know what is causing me to have up and down days but I do feel like my anxiety is mainly under control. However last Saturday night I went out for a meal with friends to Salvatore’s (my favourite restaurant – if you haven’t been, you definatly should give it a try – the tomato garlic bread is to die for). I had eaten a lot and I was drinking barcadi and coke and the coke was sitting heavily on my stomach. I was due to meet my husband in town for drinks where he was with his work friends, who I had never met before. My mum was amazing and offered to take me into town as I do not like being in taxi’s on my own. But after she picked me up I started panicking as I was desperate for the toilet. the amount of food I had eaten and the fact I had had pasta and then drank coke was making my tummy go funny. I was sat in the car with my mum and my heart was racing, I wanted to jump out of the car into the cold air but at the same time knew I was best staying in the car so I could get to the toilet faster.  When I saw my husband I jumped out of the car and told him how I was feeling. He reassured me, and got me straight to the pub and to the toilet. I am so grateful to him as he always keeps me calm.

Thanks for reading, and if anyone has any feedback let me know. Also if you experience ups and downs or you can relate about wanting to travel as a family and maybe have any ideas on how we could finance that please comment.