ANXIETY

Sertraline

So the doctor prescribed me 50mg of Sertraline to be taken every day at the same time, I decided to take it in a morning when I have my breakfast. The first few days were hard as I was imagining all sorts of side effects, and as when I had taken tablets before for anxiety (propranolol) I was thinking it was going to make me worse. My brain was playing tricks on me again and actually I was ok. Within a couple of weeks I was feeling much better. Over the next few months I saw a massive difference in myself, I was finally able to go to social events that I had been avoiding.

Side effects

One of the side effects of Sertraline is that it numbs your feelings. I have experienced this side effect, in particular when I had my dose increased to 100mg when I was pregnant. This means that when a happy moment occurs I am still happy but can’t feel it the same as I use too. The hardest thing for me is how it stops me from crying. I have been through a lot of stressful and devastating situations in my person life over the last 18 months and although the sertraline helped me get through them it also meant I could not let out all my emotions by crying. I have always been someone who enjoys a good cry to let the emotions that are building up out but now they are just building and building. I can feel in my head that it is full and if I could just cry I could let it all out and feel so much better. That is actually the main reason I came back down to 50mg a few months ago in the hope I would be able to cry – but no such luck.

Another side effect I have found is if I’m a few hours late or I miss my sertraline (this doesn’t happen very often) but I can really tell I have missed it and so can my family. It sends me down a dark whole where I feel like I’m being swallowed by darkness, I really struggle thinking of anything good in my life (even though I know I have many good things).

 

I know a lot of people who think medication is just a placebo affect and to be honest I was probably one of those people but after being on Sertraline for 3 years now I know it definitely works for me. And although I have had these side effects I am so glad I listened to my counsellor and went back to the doctors and asked for Sertraline. My life has changed dramatically and I have been able to go on holiday with my family a few times, I have been numerous days out where I would not have been able too. This has impacted my children lives so much that they can finally be part of a family that goes out on days out rather than their mum not being able to manage it or ruining it while out with panic attacks.

So if you are reading this and considering going to the doctors – I say do it. Counselling and medication have really helped me.

This is not to say anxiety is no longer a problem as it is – it is just managed better!

Thank you for reading.

ANXIETY

CBT again (part two)

Sorry it has taken me so long to write this blog, I have been super busy with my children and I have struggled knowing what to write as my memory of this time is not so good.

I was seeing my counsellor every two weeks and I enjoyed going and talking through how I was feeling but I was struggling completing the tasks she set me for home. I was trying to retrain my brain into knowing that certain feelings and symptoms were normal and not due to me being about to have a panic attack but to be honest I was failing. I would try and tell myself that it was all normal but I would head in to another panic attack. Then my counsellor told me she was leaving as she had a new job, she said she could still see me one more time but then she would have left.

I knew I didn’t want another counsellor as it would mean starting all over again and what if I didn’t get on with them – it could set me back. So I decided that after my last session with her, I would finish CBT. The last session we talked about medication. She explained that she thought that I should give medication a go. I explained my worries over it and how propranolol had made me feel worse. She explained that there were other medications and that maybe I should go to the doctor and ask to be put on Sertraline as she had heard good things about it. I knew she was right – that I had to try something as I didn’t want the rest of my life to be like this. Worrying about having a panic attack and having them. It wasn’t just my life that was being affected but my husbands and my children as there was lots of things I wouldn’t do.

So I decided I had to go back to the doctors. The doctor put me on 50mg Sertraline a day, my next blog will be about how I found the Sertraline.